Bowling

by Bobby

Today was a tough day to be a soccer player. After completing our morning session, the team went bowling for a little fun. And boy was it fun. With a shotgun like start the action was on. And the laughter was as well. Some guys were TERRIBLE. Others were quite good. Craig Waibel was the team best and averaged 192 in the two game contest. We played in four man teams comprised of players and staff. My team, which consisted of the “king of cool” Dwayne De Rosario, captain Wade Barrett, and Brian Mullan obviously won (both rounds and the combined score). Our team name was “Dwayne’s Team.” Not as original as the others, but we hold the bragging rights until the next team bowling day. The highlight of the experience happened when Mullan was attempting to get a double turkey (that’s 6 strikes in a row!!) and about 30 of us were chanting his name trying to push him on to bowling greatness. Unfortunately it didn’t happen, but the entire bowling alley was focused on him for a brief moment. Good times. Happy Cinco De Mayo everyone.

Sidenote: I will announce the winner of the fan contest on Wednesday.

Dynamo Fan Contest

by Bobby

It is time for a new contest. I have noticed that the Houston fans really like some of the Dynamo players more than the average fan. I mean REALLY like them. I have been getting emails asking for player’s email addresses, phone numbers, shoes, dates and some other odd requests that I won’t mention. I figured I could somehow turn this into a contest. So what is the contest? It’s simple really, all you have to do is email me at bobby@bobbyboswell.com.

Dynamo Fan Contest: Tell me who your favorite Dynamo player is and why they are your favorite player. Feel free to use large words, write poems, send pictures of you with your favorite player, bribe me, record yourself singing a song that you wrote about your favorite player, anything really. The more creative you are, the more likely you are to win.

“But Bobby, what do I win?”

Great question!! I will send you something worn and signed by your favorite player.

Get to work Houston.

Stomp It Out

by Bobby

I have had a couple of questions regarding a play that happened in the Kansas City game where it appeared as if I stepped on Tyson Wahl after he was hit in the face by my teammate Eddie Robinson. I just wanted to clear things up by saying I did NOT step on him, regardless to how things looked on the video. The league officials who review games each week thought I did step on him and fined me some money, but after I spoke with the Union and with Tyson himself, we were able to clear things up and the fine was dropped. I feel it was important to tell fans of the game out there that I did NOT step on Tyson and for the committee to know that I don’t play the game in a dirty or malicious manner.

Checking In

by Bobby

We are back to more of a normal schedule now having games on the next couple of Saturday’s. This weekend we take on the Galaxy in LA. We will be without my fellow center back Eddie Robinson who was suspended by the disciplinary committee for a play that happened in the Kansas City game. I also saw a familiar face today in the locker room as Guy Roland Kpene (pictured above on the right) is now training with the team and will participate in the first reserve match this weekend for the Orange. It wasn’t long after I warned him about John Spencer’s jokes that he was under some serious fire from the guys (of course being led by John Spencer himself). It was all in good fun and everyone had a laugh.

De La Hoya vs. De La Boswell

by Bobby

So after hearing that Oscar De La Hoya was my new owner, I now have the honor of joining a small group of athletic men who could say that their boss could not only fire them, but kick their butt after doing so. Although I hear that Will Chang was a master in the Judo world, Oscar seems to have those things called World Champion Boxing Belts. Like 10 of them. So I posed this question to my teammates and friends and family. I like hypotheticals.

The De La Question of the Day:
How long (how many rounds) would Bobby Boswell (that’s me), MLS Player, last in the boxing ring with Oscar De La Hoya, World Champion Boxer? I would be allowed to wear a headgear. Oh, and would he actually knock me out? Like knock me out, eyes in the back of my head, out?

Tale of the tape:

What the experts are saying:
“I give you until the 3rd round. Then you are done.”-Brad Davis

“If you ran around the ring he probably wouldn’t be able to hit you for awhile.”-Brian Ching

“I don’t think I would last 30 seconds.”-Pat Onstad

“You need a life!!”-Eddie Robinson

Paul: “The dude is a WORLD CHAMPION BOXER. He gets paid to hurt people. You would get murdered.”
Me: “But I would be wearing an Eskandarian (head gear) and he would be wearing gloves!!”
Paul: “News flash Boswell, head gears don’t stop noses from getting broken…”- Good friend Paul

“Honey, I know you are tough, but you have never been hit by someone who can hit that hard. It would be bad.”-My loving mother

“I think it’s a great idea. If you somehow work this out, please tell me when and where so I can come and watch you get…I mean…watch this happen.”- My roommate from DC who used to train with me at Nomis Boxing Gym on Capitol Hill.

The only optimistic response came from my brother from another mother Rod Dyachenko, who claimed,
Rod: “Well you do always get the high score in those ‘punch the bag’ strength games, so maybe you could get lucky and hit him with that jackhammer.”
Burch chimed in: “Hey Rod, do you remember when you tried to kick that one bag in Chicago and fell into a table?”
Rod: “Hey Burch, do you remember every time you hit the bag that you get the low score?”
Burch: “I hate you”
Me: “I love my friends!!”

SOOOOOOO… there is my hypothetical question for you. Feel free to leave comments below with your opinion. Based on the Tale of the Tape, I think I am 3 to 1 underdog.